Doing Right Hurts
by SSUqbar
Summary: AU based on Goblet of Fire, OOC Snape and Diggory; everyone else is confused. Different ending as well since [spoiler]. Have to read it to find out, but please be nice-ish. Part 1 of 4 in the Potion Master's Quartet.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Hey, Potter," I could hear an exasperated sigh as Potter turned.  
"Hi Ced… Oh God, Professor Snape," this began his stuttering. Of course since he knew who I was there was no point in hiding; I clicked my fingers instantly I no longer looked like the so annoying Hufflepuff Head-Boy; and far more myself the oh so hated Potions Master. After running into young mister Malfoy – as Cedric of course – I will have to discuss with him his attitude towards the Hufflepuff.  
"If I may Mr. Potter, now that I look like myself; how did you know it was me?"  
"Well sir, the eyebrow," instinctively I raised said eyebrow. "Preciously like that sir, it's one of your mannerisms; an easy tell if you will." Potter defended well, and for once politely.  
"You do know that I can't actually help what that particular eyebrow does, don't you?" Just great Severus your making conversation with Potter, your either losing your touch and going soft or the world has ended. You must pray Severus, for the latter.  
"Well I do now. As I was going to ask Cedric, sir, what do you want?" Ah, there was the Potter I knew.  
"You informed Mr. Diggory about the dragons, yes?" My tone was hushed and far less harsh than I had wanted, damn it Severus you are losing your touch.  
"So what if I did? Gonna take points for doing the right thing? Sir," clearly my hushed tone had done something, his tone was also hushed but far more defensive than I would have expected. So I decided to do something unexpected.  
"Actually Potter, er, Harry," that got him, he looked stunned; well-done Snape you can now stun someone using words, "I was going to add points to your precious Gryffindor; so that's five for being uncharacteristically polite, and ten for doing as you put it the 'right thing'," once I had finished adding points to those insufferable little lion cubs, it was clear Potter was beyond stunned, I may just have put the Boy-Who-Lived in shock. By being nice. I shuddered at that thought: Severus Snape and nice in the same sentence; NEVER, but yet it happened. "I thought you may need some advice on how to work out that clue of yours," I indicated to the egg that I knew was in his bag, he had neglected to add any potions work or books for my subject at all; clearly McGonagall was fiercer than I gave her credit for. I wasn't needing a reply as I was going to continue, until the Boy-Wonder as Mad-eye had called him, cut me off.  
"You want to help me? Like voluntarily; you're not being forced into it by the headmaster or anything?" Maybe I should lie to him; yes I should I do need to keep my Slytherin reputation intact; but I can't. What's wrong with me I've lied to the boy before?  
"Yes to both, Potter. Now I would suggest opening the egg underwater; then I shall meet you and Longbottom in the Herbology section of the Library. Perhaps your night time wanderings might come in handy after all; Mr Potter. Good day to you." With that I left, I couldn't have been more detailed; unless I took him to a bathroom and threw the egg in for him to hear, and then told him what the riddle inside meant. But still I had to find Longbottom, which wasn't too hard as always he was in Greenhouse Two, with Madame Sprout great – I really didn't have time to deal with her today but I had to get Longbottom.  
"Pomona, might I," the glare she threw at me was possible of death almost as bad as that bloody great Basilisk, Potter killed in the second year. "Might I borrow Mr Longbottom, for some time?" I continued unfazed, amazingly.  
"As long as you, Snape, take him back to Gryffindor Tower in one piece,"  
"Very well Pomona. Mr Longbottom with me if you please," I could see the boy shaking, looks like I hadn't lost my touch after all. But even I could not help pitying him, I would be first in line to kill Bellatrix. Not for Longbottom – of course not – but for the rest of humanity; she had to go. As I was soon realising Longbottom wasn't following, "Longbottom!"  
"Yes, sir,"  
"Would you kindly follow me to the library were we will be having a conversation with Mr Potter,"  
"What's Harry got to do with anything, sir?"  
"You do know the Triwizard Tournament is being held here, at this very moment, Mr Longbottom," I had softened my voice slightly as to not scare him further than I normally did and I doubt my approach with Potter would have had the same affect.  
"Yes, Professor," at least Longbottom seemed more at ease, and finally the library was reached about five minutes before curfew.  
"Prefect, plenty of time," I murmured.  
"For what, sir?" He was clearly nervous.  
"For you, Mr Longbottom, to find out as much as you can about Gillyweed," I could see the excited glean in his eyes; perhaps he might finally prove that he wasn't a waste of my time – not that I was going to tell him that he could never be a waste of my time or anyone else's for that matter.  
"Surely you know all about Gillyweed already,"  
"No-one can know everything Neville," damn, I'd done it again, nice to the ones I should hate, but never really could. I was only ever indifferent.  
"So your human then sir?" His question caused both my eyebrows to rise as I turned to him, I did however notice the muffled laughter from behind one of the selves.  
"Yes Longbottom, despite popular belief I am actually human. Harry, would you kindly stop laughing," I could tell that Neville thought I had finally gone mad – actually I may have – but Potter simply appeared out of thin air.  
"Sorry, Snape,"  
"Ah, we're back to the surname without respect are we, Harry?" I said scornfully.  
"Ouch there Professor," at least Potter knew the difference between amusement and everything else.  
"Hey Harry, what are you doing here?"  
"I, Neville, am discussing some important stuff with you and Professor Snape," Potter then turned to me and asked "Was that polite enough, sir?" I must admit I was amused, since he added just the right amount of sarcasm to the sir, as he always did.  
"It's an improvement. Now Professor McGonagall has suggested that I keep an eye on you over the course of this year, for obvious reasons," I cut off waiting for some kind of remark, but none came, so I continued. "What do you understand of the riddle?"  
"Well sir, it's obviously the black lake; something about an hour long you'll have to look to recover what we took," a look of revelation appeared across Potter's face, "There aren't merpeople in the black lake, are there?"  
"So far correct, Harry and yes there are. But that's not the key issue right now, so what do you think this treasure of yours is?" there was silence in return, until  
"To Harry personally sir, that would be his friends," Neville had finally looked up from the large manuscript he was struggling to hold.  
"Excellent Neville, fifteen points to Gryffindor," both looked at me in shock; well Longbottom more than Potter, since I'd already given him points. We all stared at each other for the next two or three minutes, until I got bored of the silence. "Yes well, clearly Potter's particular best friends I do believe would either be Miss Granger or the youngest male Weasley," I expected Potter to agree but he actually added another,  
"But sir, what about Cho?"  
"What about Miss Chang?" I was actually hoping he didn't have a girlfriend; I'd never live that sudden lack of observational skills down.  
"Well sir, they're going out. With each other. If you didn't get it," Yep, I had lost the only two non-potions related skills I had, the ability to terrify students and my uncanny skill to know a scary amount about each student; just by watching what happens around me.  
"I had hoped, you weren't going to say that. Either of you," I glanced at both Potter and Longbottom.  
"Why's that sir; do you secretly like Harry?" Longbottom was grinning like a Cheshire cat; Potter was staring at him with his mouth open, I had placed my hand over my face in a sign of clear disbelief – I do believe that the younger muggleborns call it a face-palm.  
"I actually cannot believe that those words left your mouth, Mr Longbottom," of course I had no choice but to use my most dangerous tone that I usually saved for either McGonagall or the Headmaster himself.  
"Neville, I'm insulted," Potter was almost shaking with rage, in its own way it was an amusing sight but also a most disturbing one.  
"Yes alright I get it, but the timing was just perfect; besides we didn't know you cared, sir," Longbottom almost forgot the sir but had added it quickly at the end.  
"I forgive you, Nev, just be nice to our dearly hated Potions Master," Harry smiled at me – me of all people – it was the same smile his mother gave me when we were still friends. I had actually forgotten they were there when I muttered to myself "I do so doubt that you could possibly hate me, as much as I hate myself," I quickly cleared my throat as small tears began to fall down my face; you could almost say that I no longer cared if these two boys saw my emotional side.  
"Professor, you could do with some counselling, sir," I knew he was trying to lighten the mood that had suddenly darkened.  
"Thanks Potter, but I tried that before; why do you think the Headmaster trusts me like he does?"  
"Well we never wanted to ask, sir," that was Neville again, at least he was beginning to come out of his shell so to speak; but I needed to change the subject.  
"Longbottom, I asked you here so that you could give Potter the Gillyweed a few moments before he leaves for the second challenge," I glared at Potter who for once clearly understood what I was trying to say: Do what you think to be right.  
"Why don't you give it to me, sir?" He was thinking something more about Slytherin reputation, I could tell." I would like to keep my job, Potter, It was clear he didn't believe that; so for once I explained, "It's the one thing you, I and dear Professor Trelawney have in common; care to guess?" it was obvious that he felt we had nothing in common, but he still got it right.  
"Hogwarts is our home," I could see tears beginning to swell in his eyes.  
"Very good; Longbottom," I turned to Neville; I didn't think I could handle Harry Potter crying.  
"Yes, sir?"  
"I want you to wait until tomorrow to give Potter the Gillyweed, just as you get to the boats; is that clear?" I waited for his response.  
"Perfectly, sir,"  
"Excellent, no go stand next to Potter. This may take some explaining," I had confused them both; but that was nothing compared to what I had to do next. "I need to confund you both so that you only know parts of this conversation that are important, the rest will be temporally forgotten," I waited for the shout of hatred that I was used to, but they never came.  
"I take it you're going to remember everything then, sir?" Longbottom didn't even sound afraid.  
"Yes Neville, I will remember all of this and for reference if I say that you're useless or anything else like that, know that I'm lying and that I don't mean it. Potter the same if I'm ever cruel to you again," he cut me off – Potter cut me off – when I was apologising.  
"I'll know you've gone back to normal, sir," I could see the glittering in his eyes, how very Dumbledore of him.  
"I'm sorry," I continued as if I hadn't heard him, the three of us knew that I had.  
"When the Tournaments over will you let us remember?" Neville was getting nervous.  
"That depends on who wins the staff wager, Longbottom," I had to clarify, not that they'd remember when I eventually got around to taking them back to Gryffindor Tower. "Flitwick, Sprout and Madame Pomfrey believe that Diggory will win; being the deluded individuals that they are. The rest of the staff, including Filch are convinced that you will win, Harry. I didn't take a side, and placed a customary bet on both of you," I could see Potter summarising this new information, he'd have one hell of a headache in the morning – well when he woke up later on today, hopefully on time.  
"Always so logical, Professor Snape," I knew the voice immediately, it always left me paralysed.  
"Alastor Moody, as much as I'd love to obliterate you for what you've no doubt heard; but I'm afraid no-one will believe you, the mad ex-auror," I placed particular emphasis on the 'mad' and 'obliterate', as I drew myself to full height towering over the old fool; clearly having some effect on the boys as both shivered but Mad-Eye seemed undeterred by my enhanced presence. I no longer had a choice either be blackmailed by an auror or blackmail him first; personally I didn't like either option. Oddly, I could feel that he knew this; and that I wouldn't do anything to Potter or Longbottom with his eyes on me. "Fine; Potter, Longbottom you can return yourselves to your dormitory, and if anyone asks you were both doing a detention with me with was most unpleasant," I handed them a roll of parchment each, "These will excuse you for being out after curfew, and please don't talk about this," I put a softer tone on 'please', I now had to show them some of the feelings which I had desperately tried to keep hidden. Both nodded, leaving the library most briskly. Once their footsteps had turned into a run and then there was silence; I waited for Moody to talk first, but he had just taken a rather large gulp of whatever he had in that cursed hipflask. I could smell it and it reminded me of polyjuice potion; but then that couldn't be right – could it?

**Jacqueline. A. Britt** **4**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Well now Severus, helping Harry Potter are we? Showing emotions in front of two young Gryffindor's, are we?" he was sniggering, I wanted to strangle him, "I did see you crying didn't I? I knew Albus could reduce people to tears, but I never thought of you as a person; Snape," after several minutes of my silence he continued, again. "What's wrong Severus, Dark Lord got your tongue? Wouldn't be surprising would it, he already owns you," he was very close to a raw nerve, a very raw nerve. "You never had a heart did you? I bet you never loved anyone in your pathetic excuse of a life, 'ay Snape?" almost he'd found that one line and now he was toeing it. "Oh but wait; what about Lily Evans," my head jerked up instantly a sign of recognition, previously I had been looking at the floor – what a good one it was, very well polished – but now he had me, exactly where we wanted me. "So you did love her; how sweet the childhood sweethearts, destroying all the preconceptions. But Potter came along, didn't he? She never looked back at you, did she?" I didn't remember raising my fist to his face, but I did hear a rather satisfying sound of broken bones; that had to be his nose – what was left of it anyway. Ignoring the pain he was in, Moody took another swig of the flask.  
"You may wish to see Madame Pomfrey about that, Mad-Eye," I called over my shoulder as I left the library, before Madame Pince exploded about the sudden appearance of a rather large amount of blood on her library's floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Of course he had to be outside my classroom, well at least he wasn't outside my private quarters.  
"Alastor, what can I do for you?" my cold tone was in place, I carefully put my rage for the man in a cage at the back of my mind.  
"An apology would be good, Snape!" I had just opened my classroom door, for once squeaking ominously, I knew I was breaking down; my years of spying now taking its toll on my emotions.  
"You want me to apologise to you, Mad-Eye," I whispered dangerously, on silence had now been replaced by another as no student in the potions lab was breathing. So I continued slightly louder than before, "surely you should be sorry for what you said last night,"  
"That was all true and you know it; or else you wouldn't have hit me!"  
"At least I told you to go to Pomfrey; it's not my fault if you didn't listen," he took a step closer to me, I refused to move; I would not surrender. He glared up at me. "Get out of my face, Moody. You will regret it if you don't," some of the students oow'ed at this.  
"You're not worth the air you breath, Snape," finally some neurons in his brain connected as to why he wasn't fired. "You haven't told Dumbledore about our exchange, have you?" he sniggered again, I still wanted to strangle him.  
"Why would I deliberately go out of my way to ruin your already ruined reputation, Professor," he knew it wasn't a question. But he did snarl and once more taking a sip from his flask.  
"Ouch, sir!" that had to be Potter, it had to be his bloody class this morning.  
"Burn! Sorry," I looked at Granger with surprise. Ignoring Moody, I had to shock them all.  
"For an inappropriate, appropriate outburst Miss Granger five points to Gryffindor," I smirked as her mouth fell open, along with the rest of my Slytherin's. Turning back to Mad-Eye just as he…  
"Snape," he clearly was exasperated.  
I growled "Don't Snape me in that tone Alastor Moody, but get one thing straight," I paused for affect, "I am far more complicated than your simple mind will ever comprehend. Now GET OUT!" I roared, as I pushed him roughly from the room slamming the door in his face – luckily he was close enough to the door to re-brake his nose that I had broken last night. At the scream of pain on the outside of my classroom door, I had to laugh. After about three minutes of silence as I put the instructions and ingredients of today's potion on the board, I sank into my chair; placing my head in my hands on my desk, I swore quietly. But it was not quiet enough, as about half the class whistled. The rest were unsure how to react, until,  
"Professor?" Potter had silently approached my desk, "Sir, are you alright?" he was brave; after an outburst like that he should be running from me not coming up to me in an attempt to console me.  
"I'll be fine, thank you Potter,"  
"If you're sure," he shrugged as he returned to his desk. I could feel someone's eyes on me, I looked up; Miss Granger had her hand in the air – as usual.  
"Yes Granger,"  
"I f you'll excuse the language, sir," she drew a quick breath and quickly continued with "but what the fuck was that about?" I blinked at her, I never knew she had such a common vulgar vocabulary underneath all that knowledge.  
"That was a heated argument, Granger," I glanced at Longbottom; again he looked like a Cheshire cat, "Shut up Longbottom,"  
"Sorry sir, but that was epic,"  
"Epic?" I repeated.  
"Longbottom has a point, sir," at that moment the entire class looked at Draco as if he had six heads.  
"Who are you, and what have you done with Draco Malfoy?" Potter and Longbottom could see the smile behind my eyes. Granger snorted and then started openly laughing, once the class had finished, it was time for the second challenge; Potter was the last to leave.  
"Harry, good luck,"  
"Thanks, sir," I stayed sitting as he left, "You're not coming?" he actually sounded sad.  
"No Potter, Longbottom will give you the Gillyweed; just swallow it when you to the water's edge,"  
"Understood, Professor," he finally left. I continued to stare at the corridor wall for the next hour. Hoping he would be alright.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I didn't know where I was walking to until I arrived at the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey must have been having bad day.  
"Severus, are you alright?" she seemed concerned about me.  
"I'll be fine Poppy, it's just this tournament; I keep feeling something major's going to happen," now she was really worried.  
"The arm?"  
"Not really but Potter?" I looked directly at her, she saw what I meant; but I didn't know what that was.  
"He's asleep, poor lad's exhausted; and he keeps going on about understanding you Severus," I raised the eyebrow.  
"I don't know what you mean Madame Pomfrey. Has Moody been to see you?" I blurted out quickly, she seemed shocked.  
"He told me you hit him, and then after trying to get you to apologise to him, you went off in one; apparently slamming the door in his face," she finished, she knew more than I thought. There was no escaping it.  
"Something like that," at least I looked ashamed, she was laughing. "Mad-Eye hasn't been here at all has he? But Dumbledore knows doesn't he?" well at least she stopped laughing.  
"Good guess, Severus. He wants to talk about it when you're ready of course,"  
"Of course," I really didn't need the headmaster on my back for `attacking` the great Mad-Eye Moody; especially when he started it. I snapped out of my melancholy mood as soon as I heard a particular voice.  
"You seem preoccupied, Professor," he still sounded tired. "So how long have I been out this time?"  
"Long enough, Potter, long enough,"  
"You're getting as bad as Pomfrey," I gave him the look, "Alright Madame Pomfrey,"  
"Better Potter; what do you remember?"  
"That you didn't confund me and Neville, when Mad-Eye turned up and that you seemed scared of him," Potter waited for a while when he said again, "About the second challenge I don't remember a lot, sir," I wasn't listening to him, since Moody had just walked in; apparently he had sneezed causing his nose to bleed profusely – good serves him right – we ignored each other until Pomfrey asked:  
"Alastor, how on earth did your nose get broken in two places, when it was fine two days ago?" his response was surprisingly quick; not knowing that she already knew.  
"Walked into a wall, thinking, didn't see where I was going," it was a good thing she never asked the same question twice, most useful.  
"Right, "clearly not believing him, "and then you sneezed this morning?"  
"Preciously," he wanted to leave, just as I wanted him to as well. Potter was wisely pretending to be asleep. I wanted him to know how much I hated him, but I couldn't hiss at him in front of Pomfrey.  
"Severus," I hadn't realised I'd been staring into nothingness again.  
"Did you say something Poppy?" at least I hadn't yawned yet; I was tired.  
"You can relax Professor, he's gone; that's what you said wasn't it Madame Pomfrey?"  
"Exactly Potter, why weren't you asleep?"  
"The boy was only pretending to sleep Poppy; I'd suggest he doesn't want to be pestered," Potter nodded, "in that case I shall take my leave, sleep Mr Potter," as I turned to leave Poppy had to ask, didn't she?  
"So, what made you hit him; must have been a good punch if he acts like that around you Severus,"  
"And what would you know of good punches, Poppy?"  
"Only that I was a keen boxer in my youth, thank-you Snape," I snorted, I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. The mental image of Poppy Pomfrey, Hogwarts School's medi-witch, boxing was just priceless. Although Potter tried to shuffle further away from her, couldn't say I blamed him; she could be terrifying when she wanted to be.  
"Well it was a punch that he didn't see coming. Is that his hipflask?" I was trying to distract myself from everything going on, I didn't want anyone to know that the mark was burning like mad, oddly it only happened when Potter winched; so I could say that his scar was also trying to tell him something.  
"Yes, wonder what made him forget that?" the sarcasm was unmistakable. Our attitudes changed completely as a small pop was heard, as a tiny house-elf squeaked it's request,  
"Herbie was told by Master Dumbledore to fetch Harry Potter ready for the final challenge, Herbie was Sirs and Madame," when the elf had finished it rocked continuously. I did my best to ignore it but its movements where giving me a headache. Madame Pomfrey was the first to act,  
"Herbie, would you kindly tell the headmaster that Professor Snape will escort Harry to the arranged meeting place in around half an hour," the elf nodded as it began to disapperate; I added,  
"Also inform the Professor that the delayed time is concrete, thank-you," again it nodded and disapperated into thin air. I could hear a breath of relaxation, from either Potter or Pomfrey I couldn't tell.  
"Potter you need to rest," Pomfrey was getting irritable, that much I could hear.  
"Harry got to sleep, I fear you will need not only strength but courage as well; whatever this challenge this is, it will not be easy," I stroked the bridge of his nose, placing him into a deep magical sleep.  
"Is that legal?" Poppy was again worried.  
"Of course not, but since when has that stopped me? Besides at least he will now rest," I had to smirk, but she knew I cared.  
"Fine, but not with anyone around else in my hospital wing; I don't want someone getting the wrong idea about how I run my infirmary," she was getting distressed, never a good sign.  
"Poppy relax you have my work, "great Snape now your beginning to sound like Albus. I stared at the floor for the next however many minutes until Potter's `nap` was up, he was awake as I moved out of the chair in which I had been sitting, rather stiffly – the boy of course was bouncing with energy. Hearing Potter's excitable giggles, Poppy rather quickly gave him a calming draught, a weak one of my own design; normally I would have saved it but Potter needed it to keep his nerves under control. Pomfrey's never shown much care for my nerves when she's poking and prodding me needlessly.  
"Are you ready Harry?" came her voice from next to me.  
"No but I suppose I have to be, don't I?" he was looking between us for any sign of worry; or any emotion at all from me.  
"I'm sure the headmaster could change the arrangement, if you're not fully recovered," I was hopeful that he might take the offer, but since when had a Gryffindor ever listened to reason. Still I was hopeful.  
"Severus," Poppy hadn't even given the boy a chance to answer himself – damn that woman sometimes. "You know Dumbledore can't do that, besides it's against the rules of this stupid tournament," she folded her arms firmly against her chest, I knew it to be a defensive stance – I use it a lot – but also quite a fierce one saying do not mess with me – she was stubborn; but so was I.  
"It's not that stupid," I wasn't sure what Harry was defending; the absent headmaster or the tournament. "It has been rather fun, battling dragons and saving my friends from dangerous merpeople," my eyebrow must have raised for he added, "which probably aren't dangerous just misunderstood," he was going to say something pitiful I could tell, I had to cut him off.  
"That's not what I meant by the eyebrow Potter, I merely meant that you almost died facing that Horntail and then again with the Merpeople; and that was my fault not yours," I really shouldn't have say that but he had to understand he was in danger; again.  
"What do you mean that was your fault?" I bravely cut Madame Pomfrey off before she could go into a full rant.  
"I didn't take into consideration the effect fresh and salt water has on Gillyweed, the best Herbologists are still debating if there's an effect at all," I sighed, "I should have listened to Longbottom," I shook my head at my own stupidity.  
"I'll give you a check-up later, Severus but for now go and take Potter to that strange maze they built," I should have known I was never going live down that last comment. I walked Potter down to the maze as agreed by Pomfrey, as I was about to leave I gave a final good luck to Harry. Upon my return to the castle, I could see that Mad-Eye was running insanely late. But I did want to know what he was up to, then I recognised the glow from the ridiculous Triwizard Cup – which was supposed to be at the centre of the maze already. I knew that I had to confirm or deny my suspicions that Mad-Eye was not Mad-Eye, until then I had heard no sound as I silently pushed open the door. It was open just open enough to see, but I heard a voice that I hadn't heard in years; at first I thought it was a figment of my imagination but it wasn't. As were Alastor Mad-Eye Moody stood came the unmistakable voice of Barty Crouch Jr, an old Death Eater with a score to settle against Kargoroff and myself.  
"Portus," I knew the spell bur there had to be a more Slytherin approach to what I was about to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Hello, Barty," my voice was even colder than usual, "are you looking for something?" my eyes hard, I held up the hipflask he had left in the hospital wing.  
"I always carry a spare, Snape," his voice was still his own but getting closer to Moody's unintended drivel of a voice; soon it would be impossible to tell the imposter apart from the real thing – soon no-one would believe me. We continued our little conversation in mind-speak. I escorted him to the centre of the maze where he placed the now portkey; but as we turned to leave,  
"Look, Snape, over the years we've known each other, know that I am sorry for this," he was too imposter Moody.  
"Sorry for what?" I could feel the thin ice fail underneath me as Crouch Jr, pushed me into the stone plinth on which the Cup sat, momentarily forgetting that it was now a portkey, I rested my head against it. I knew my mistake as soon as I'd made it; waking up in a graveyard far from Hogwarts; Little Hangleton, I think but I had been here before, when Voldemort still looked human but was clearly more than. Apparently the cup had a delay on it – it would return itself to Hogwarts – and this seemingly explained how there was a breathing person above me bound to the winged angel of death while I lay in pain on the floor – one too many crucio's.  
"Are you Diggory or Potter?" I had to ask but it was painful to.  
"Diggory, sir. I came along,"  
"Right so Potter's at Hogwarts," I waited for an answer as the large cauldron before us flickered on a fire. "We need to get out of here, now," I was seeing a mad shine in Diggory's eyes, as if the power of head-boy had gone to his head – that's the last thing that I needed was a power crazy Hufflepuff.  
"How do we do that then Snape?" no emotions at all, he was better than me.  
"Don't know,"  
"Your no help, you can barely stand,"  
"It'll get us out of here, Diggory," I snarled at him, his blatant tone of disrespect was one that Potter would never manage – too cold and calculating.  
"I really don't like being snarled at, now untie me or I'll kill you," he spat at me, I ignored him as I untied his ropes. I was not expecting a killing curse to be shot over my shoulder and then hit Wormtail in the centre of his forehead. Now I was shaking; I was in the company of a seventeen year old murdered – still his victim had been Wormtail – but to kill in cold blood was an achievement I never wanted on my list. I stared at him until he grabbed my wrist and forced something painfully blunt into my stomach, I'd deal with it later.  
"Accio," I called, at once the Cup flew towards us we both caught a handle each; once seeing Hogwarts around me I knew I was safe. Diggory had already gone to his adoring fans it made me sick; but I had no more energy to live – collapsing heavily on the hard dusty ground of the Quidditch Pitch – I panted coarsely unsure of how long I had left. I saw a blue-ish silver cloak heading for me, the headmaster; yes Dumbledore would know what to do. But his face was livid, what had I done wrong? I'd saved a student's life at the cost of my own – well nearly. Then again Diggory could pull the wool over my eyes then he certainly could Dumbledore's.  
"Where's Potter," was all I managed to choke out, it was Pomfrey who answered me.  
"With Alastor, why?"  
"Not Alastor, Barty Jr; evil, polyjuice,"  
"Albus we need to get Potter!" she was beyond worried now, as was Minerva for as I had expected her cat senses would be of benefit.  
"Yes we do, but for now let our head-boy celebrate his victory," both women looked at him as if he'd finally lost his mind; I could see the cloudy eyes of a confundus charm. Somehow Barty had got to the headmaster, as I tried to get up it became fairly apparent that the thing in my stomach had to be removed rather quickly, but that could lead to blood loss. I'd have to it, I had been through worse; as I slowly pulled the dagger, it was clear I'd left it too long. Great Snape, this is why you don't act like a Gryffindor.  
"Poppy, help," I was wheezing how pathetic,"  
"Severus, what is it?"  
"Dumbledore confounded," I coughed at her but I continued, "Diggory gone wrong," was all I could say. It was Minerva who needed more information.  
"What do you mean, gone wrong? What's he talking about?" she turned to Pomfrey.  
"I need to get him to the hospital wing; go and finite incantatem the headmaster seems like he's confunded," she shook herself, she didn't believe me either then. But my priority was finding Potter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"It was a close call, Severus," sounded like Dumbledore was back to his old self.  
"Close call," I hissed "I get crucio'd by Wormtail and almost killed by a student and head-boy no less,"  
"Yes well Mr Diggory is in St. Mungo's for an analysis; and you're as healthy as a very skinny horse,"  
"What happened to Potter?" I pulled the headmaster closer so he could feel the panic I felt. It worked, Minerva had to keep me in check for the rest of the day; Albus wouldn't even look at me.  
"Minerva?" I caught her attention, "The same question," I swear I heard a phrase similar to I don't know, leave her mouth. "What did you say!?" I roared at her, as I swung my legs out of the bed.  
"Severus, listen we found the real Moody locked in that trunk; Crouch had been stunned, but there was no Potter," she was terrified about what had happened to her bravest lion cub.  
"Dobby," I yelled, a light pop was heard as another elf appeared; thankfully this one remained silent, "Dobby I need you to find," I was quieter this time.  
"Harry Potter, sir, Dobby has tried sir, but Dobby cannot find Harry Potter," the elf was close to a panic attack.  
"Have you tried Gryffindor Tower?" this was going to be a long list,  
"First, sir,"  
"Ok, the kitchens,"  
"Not there, sir,"  
"Three Broomsticks,"  
"Not on a Saturday, sir,"  
"Right, Hogs Head"  
"Dobby will check, sir," the elf disappeared only to reappear a few seconds later, "nothing, sir"  
"Room of Requirements," the elf didn't have a clue, "the come and go room,"  
"Oh sir, Dobby cannot get in, sir, Dobby can normally get in, sir, but not today Dobby cannot sir,"  
"That's fine, Dobby. Thank-you," the elf bowed and with another pop was gone. "Minerva, seventh floor now," I jumped from the bed, I didn't care about how much pain I was in.  
"You're not going anywhere, Snape," Pomfrey had turned up, her timing as impeccable as always.  
"He has to Poppy," Minerva looked fit to cry.  
"What do you mean, has to?" She rounded on McGonagall; this was going to be an argument I didn't want to hear. Somehow I quietly left the room whilst Poppy's back was turned. There was no other thing for it I had to run; removing my outer cloak I was free to move faster – although not by much – until I reached the room of requirements, which at current looked like a bare patch of wall. Three times I circled the corridor, all the time thinking: I need to find Harry Potter; on the third pass the door swung forward and out stepped Potter.  
"I was hiding in there Professor," after sizing me up as I slumped against a window ledge, he took me inside the room; it was cosy. There were two poster beds at either end of the room, a large table next to a fireplace. After taking a seat in one of armchairs beside the fire, I had to ask,  
"Who are you hiding from today?" he was clearly annoyed that I asked.  
"Everyone," it was a simple yet well calculated answer. I let it slide. "You really should be in the hospital wing," the tone was detached, matter-of-fact.  
"I was there a while ago, besides I'm sure this place could make a corridor to Pomfrey's office if it needed to,"  
"You mean if you needed to get there quickly; and there already is a corridor to the hospital wing," he pointed to the door on the right side of the fireplace. I nodded once to Potter, he needed more alone time; and I needed more time to heal. One thing was certain Pomfrey would kill me, firstly for leaving and secondly for not bringing Potter back with me; when I finally returned to my confines. Upon my return to my white prison, the warden was already asleep, thank god. However, sleep escaped me, as I laid restlessly on one of the matron's preferred Severus beds. It was around nine am when I finally feel asleep; and it was around noon when I was rudely woken by a certain medi-witch.  
"Pomfrey stop shaking me," I was still tired and my voice showed it.  
"Well if you go mad, due to lack of sleep don't blame me,"  
"Whatever Poppy," I waved her off as I limped to my quarters. The stairs were not co-operating today, I always knew they would be the death of me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I knew someone was in my quarters, I never leave any lights on, nor is the fire lit.  
"Dumbledore," I whispered; he's the only person who could get past my wards.  
"Severus, are you going to let yourself in?" he was amused, he was far too easily amused. As I opened the door, I glared at him; he was sat at my writing desk he'd even started my last bottle firewhisky. He would pay for that later.  
"You're drinking my whisky, why?"  
"Because it's the only thing worth drinking in this place," he shrugged, I was beginning to think the headmaster had a problem – but only with my firewhisky.  
"Right; give me that bottle," I went to take it from him; despite his age his reflexes where surprisingly good.  
"No," Albus' tone was far too childish, he was definitely drunk. But what could I do with a drunk Albus Dumbledore? Well I could take him to the Hogs Head – Aberforth would get a laugh out of it.  
"Albus, sleep," I raised my wand at him as he fell asleep, carefully I levitated him onto my bed; catching the bottle as it fell from his grasp – there was barely enough left for me to drown my sorrows in. Apparently the man had more worries than I knew of, but that was to be expected, who would confide in me. "What am I going to do with you?" I sighed, as he moaned in his sleep; rolling over he looked like an overgrown cocoon. Even in my overheated room, he was shivering. I left him in my bed as I went to my private office, where most of my liquor was hidden; only the house-elves knew about it and I had them convinced that they would die very painfully if they ever mentioned it. Summoning a chair I fell into it behind my desk, I had thrown my cloak over a table that had my potion supplies on. As soon as my head hit the desk I was getting drowsy, I undid the three top buttons on my shirt; just to be comfortable. Subconsciously, I began fiddling with the wedding ring I kept on a simple chain around my neck; it was a plain but proud ring – the only reminder I had of my old life, the one before I had lost all rationality.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I couldn't remember opening the empty sherry bottles that had been shattered against one of the walls; but the blinding headache I was experiencing was suggesting that I had too many sorrows. The completely drained firewhisky bottle was centred on my desk – looks like I'd finished that off as well – curses to Albus for opening the damn thing, else I wouldn't have emptied it. Thinking of Albus, maybe I should be checking on him; but he could wait. I needed a place to think, the Astronomy Tower was always a good place to clear my mind, besides there was a clear sky tonight; maybe I could just relax. I made my way to the highest tower – as usual – there was no one around; I pushed open the door to the roof of the tower. I'd been staring over the buttresses for years – since my third year in fact – but not until now did I fully want to throw myself over the edge into the cobbled stones below. I was being plagued by the thoughts until the door once more swung open clattering against the wall; it was either Potter or Dumbledore, I guessed at:  
"Potter", but I didn't turn around to check.  
"Not quite, sir," it was the female tone of Granger.  
"Miss Granger, what are you doing up here?" maybe I wouldn't like the answer but I had to ask.  
"I wanted to think, sir, mean it's been a weird week; you cancelling your lessons and all, " she drew a breath and continued her blabbering which was somehow making me feel better not worse but still I had a lot on my mind. Her talking faded to the back of my mind as I took a slight step forward, I didn't realise Granger had gotten so close to me as she pulled my arm; forcing me to turn my head. We stared into each other's eyes for some time, she seemed to find something she didn't like. "I do hope you're not thinking about jumping; you would be missed and not just by McGonagall," she laughed and left me to my silence. For once the silence was unnerving, despite what Granger had said – about me being missed – I couldn't bring myself to believe her. I'd always known that one day I wouldn't be able to cope with the sins of my past; but lately they'd been catching up with me. It was time to end the need I had to hide from the world, it was time to move on. I only knew of one way to do that when everything I had lived for was gone. It was time to jump, just to end everything. I'd already failed everyone, why stay alive to remind them of that fact was inhumane. It was inhumane for me to live any longer; I took a step over the wall into the darkness of the cobbled stones below. The jagged edges cutting into me – but if I could feel them, how could I be dead? Unless I was alive.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Professor!" I am definitely still alive, if I were dead I wouldn't be able to hear – but after a yell like that I'll probably be deaf.  
"Granger, I told you to let him sleep; until we get him to the hospital wing," McGonagall – of course always the caring one.  
"Shut up both of you," my voice was courser than I expected; I glared at my legs. Minerva knew what I was asking.  
"No Severus," her voice full of concern and warning, "you may not attempt to stand; young man," this time she was trying to be patronising. She always did know how to get on my nerves.  
"I'm so sorry Professor Snape," well if it wasn't granger trying – well I don't know what she was trying to do. But I couldn't let her finish that sentence.  
"Hush, Granger," for once I allowed my worry for her be seen through my eyes – she seemed to look a bit too closely as she saw my tormented soul. She only cried harder.  
"Severus you are concerned about her? When you're in the state you're in," McGonagall was snapping at me about showing human emotions – which I rarely did in any state. I raised my eyebrows at her. "Look I'm sorry it's just like your trying to say goodbye," Minerva looked sheepishly at me, "And I never liked goodbye's," I couldn't believe my eyes the brave lion cat was crying over me – the most hated snake in the whole school. Even Granger seemed worried by the crying McGonagall in front of her, much less than the human Snape she sat beside. I looked apologetically at Hermione – although I'm not sure she knew what I was apologising for. Luckily for me Granger, hadn't seen the determined seed in my eyes, as I now refused to let myself die.  
"Granger, how bad am I?" she didn't need any more information than that.  
"Two broken legs, one dislocated shoulder, a dislocated wrist; three cracked ribs one possibly broken and most likely a very bruised back, sir," she had the courage to use my own death stare against me. I didn't comment on it.  
"Where's Poppy?"  
"I'm right here Severus," the snail that gad been on the other side of me – it had arrived when I inquired about Poppy – turned rather unannounced into the matron.  
"For god sack, Pomfrey, where you going at snail's pace? Or did you get lost on your way here, since you never leave the hospital wing?" looks like Granger got the joke as she laughed – more like a small chuckle but it was still there – Poppy and Minerva seemed scared by a sudden outburst of humour from me. "What? Did you forget I was human or something?" I gave them both a scornful look which I continued to give them as they levitated me through the almost school to the hospital wing. It would take a long time for me to heal; but at least they knew I cared.

**Jacqueline. A. Britt** **1**


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